We’ve
all thought working at a gym would be great at least once, especially in
college when we need some extra change and that gym down the road is hiring. What
better place for a single, young female to work? Through experience, I can name
quite a few. Before submitting that gym application, take it from someone who
learned the hard way and check out these advantages and disadvantages of being
a gym employee.
1 Yoga
Pants
Advantage: All right, let me go ahead
and state the obvious. The best part of working at a gym is, of course, wearing
yoga pants to work. And not only yoga pants, but sweatpants. Goodness.
Sweatpants are amazing.
Disadvantage: Yoga pants are a part of the
dress code but we all know what yoga pants do to the booty and we also know the
effect that booty has on most men. Sometimes, for the sake of self-respect, it’s
best to save the yoga pants for the house and throw on a pair of jeans- But no,
not at the gym. Jeans are not a part of the dress code and wearing them would
make me look weird and lazy and I’d split my pants while trying to show someone
how to use the Butt Master. I suppose I’ll stick to sweatpants.
2 You
can literally roll out of bed and head to work
Advantage: Sometimes, if my sweatshirt
is enough sizes too big, I don’t even put on a bra and it feels wonderful. I
don’t know of anyone working at a law firm who has benefits quite this great.
Disadvantage: “Yea, I’d love to go to lunch with you when I get
off work; I just need to fix my hair. And put on a little blush. And put on
real pants….
and
put on a bra.”
3 The
guys who hit on you
Advantage: Occasionally you’ll get the
stereotypically charming, nice guy who comes into the gym. These are the types
of guys I’m personally interested in, but usually they’re respectable guys who
don’t come to the gym to hit on girls (Kind of a disadvantage). And that’s
totally okay and normal for that matter. I enjoy the sporadic conversations
throughout my shifts with these guys (or maybe they’re just not into me which
could also be a result of my previous point).
Disadvantage: Please do not wink at me or
try to impress me with the 60 leg curls you just did. I feel uncomfortable
because you’re sweating and I can’t focus on anything else but the sweat that’s
about to drip off of your face and onto the counter in front of me.
4 Mirrors
everywhere
Advantage: Mirrors mean your
narcissism is expected, Kanye.
Disadvantage: Once again I am reminded
that I actually did roll out of bed today, not because I saw myself in the
mirror but because the guy lifting free weights just called me sir. Also, I may
or may not be checking out the Ryan Gosling look-alike across the gym and
mirrors don’t make it an easy task, trust me.
5 The
sweat
Advantage: *~crickets~*
Disadvantage: Sweat. Sweat everywhere.
And no sister, you do not glisten or sparkle. The salt water running down your
face is not glamorous.
6 The
smell
Advantage: The only time the gym smells
good EVER is when someone, usually a woman, leaves the dressing room after
lathering in a Bath & Body Works shower gel, then compliments the wash with
an allover body sprits. Breathing in sweat and iron for extended periods of
time can begin to take over all of your senses, but the smell of Japanese
Cherry Blossom or Twilight Woods makes a gym employee want to take a bubble
bath of their own. This is a rare occurrence, but when it happens, man does it
smell amazing!
Disadvantage: The smell is obviously a
result of the sweat but oh my lanta is it awful! Bring in the Febreze cans by
the dozen because by the end of your shift you’re going to have used about 6 of
them.
7 Working
in the kids corner
Advantage: Working in the kids’ corner
is great for two reasons. First, you’re not responsible for physically taking
care of the children. As a matter of fact, by law gym employees are not licensed
to handle the children. This is nice because it gives a gym employee more
reason to just sit, which brings me to my second advantage. While sitting and
chatting with six year olds all day you learn new things about life, love, and
even marriage. You may also gain wonderful insight from toddlers. So far I’ve
learned that I’m very tall for my age and that as a 19 year old, I should have
AT LEAST 9 kids by now.
Disadvantage: While the life lessons are great, it is the
most God-awful thing when a child starts crying and their mother is in yoga
class. You’re unable to pick the child up because as I mentioned before, you’re
not licensed to, so you quietly tip toe to the yoga classroom with a screaming
baby as your background music to politely interrupt a mother’s downward facing
dog, and inform her that her son, Charlie, is very, very upset (someone bit his
finger).
8 Walking
in on half dressed men in the men’s locker room
Advantage: You open the locker room door to clean mirrors and boom- attractive human
male detected. You see said male with 12-pack of abs getting out of the shower.
Do you slowly sneak out with the hopes that he didn’t see you? Abso-freakin-lutely
not. You casually continue walking toward the mirror pretending not to see said
attractive man. I’m just being real.
Disadvantage: You can imagine how this
plays out when the man is over 40 years old and has more hair than Chewbacca
growing from his chest (or back). My sincerest apologies for that unsightly
mental image.
9 Men
in tight pants
Advantage: Imagine this point as one similar to guys
wearing baseball pants. Yeah, I rest my case.
Disadvantage: Oh my God, do I really even
need to explain myself? Nope. Everything is already plainly exposed.
Easy
work at the front desk
Advantage: COMMISSION! “Thank you for
calling the health club, can I help you?” “Yes, is this pizza palace? I need to
place an order to go.” “Wrong number, but while we’re on the phone, would you
like to sign up for a gym membership?”
Disadvantage: So freaking B O R I N G.
Free gym membership
Advantage: If you choose, you have the
option of working out whenever you want, free of charge! Not that I know much
about this, but if I worked out I’m sure I would enjoy this benefit.
Disadvantage: Anyone with a free gym
membership should constantly feel the need to work out because memberships do
not come cheap. Working at a gym also gives people leeway to expect you to be
buff. Yeah, I know. That’s not going to happen for me either.
1 People
assume you know what you’re doing when it comes to using gym equipment
Advantage: “Yes, I totally know the
name of that machine and the recommended weight and reps for your gender, age,
and weight.” Ha. Ha. Ha.
Disadvantage: Fingers crossed no one asks
me to demonstrate. Yeah, I work here. I should know how to use this equipment
but honestly, I just needed a job. I didn’t choose the gym life; the gym life
chose me (really I need to somewhat support my Starbucks habits and it was the
only listing available). Do I practice
fitness? Yeah, fittn’is pizza in my mouth.